I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
