You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
