Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
There's even glitter on my cock...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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