ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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