A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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