I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
