Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
