We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
