Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She's the barista slut.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
