I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
operation have a gay friend backfired
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
