I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
