OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
