is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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