So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
