I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize