it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
