i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
