Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
