i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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