Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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