Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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