the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize