Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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