Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize