I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
