I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
