at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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