yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
