is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
