Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
