I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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