Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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