He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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