How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
