yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
