Apparently you make a good broom.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
