she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
