I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
