Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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