It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
