doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
