Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
time to smoke my breakfast
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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