We named our party play list daddy issues
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
