I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My bed smells like the plague
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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