I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize