he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
