It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
