last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
