I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
