so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
