Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
