One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
