I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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