i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
