am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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