ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
not ubering you a puppy
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
