I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
