I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
