dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
