In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
