therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
