Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
