It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think your dad took our porno
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
