Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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