high people should be assigned attendants
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
