Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
